May 21, 2008 One Equals Two

We actually had a breakthrough in counseling last night! I think TGG even got a little emotional and almost cried. I'm not sure. I didn't want to stare. I know he was also a little sleepy so either his eyes got red because he was tired or because he was forcing back tears.

So, to catch you up on our counseling, he is always in his brain and completely unable to identify in himself any emotional activity. We've always worked on the premise that I am the complete opposite. Really, I suppose we had two breakthroughs last night.

Our Doc says, throughout the course of his life, TGG has suppressed his emotions so much that he is completely disconnected from them.

You see, it's not that TGG is less able to express his feelings, it's that he doesn't believe he has feelings!!!!!!

He is of the opinion that if he *had* any emotions to speak of, he would know about them. The fact that he has no conscious awareness of his emotions is pretty much proof that he has no emotions.

Of course, TGG doesn't buy all that subconscious mumbo jumbo. He actually said "I don't believe in that." Which made Doc and I each need to suppress laughter! TGG says he understands that the concept of the subconscious mind is a scientific reality, however, he just doesn't buy into the fact that something is going on in his mind that he's not aware of.

Each week when we discuss recent occurrences, Doc suggests a theory as to why TGG responds the way he does. For example, last weekend I said something about needing a chiropractic adjustment and TGG mocked the practice of chiropractic.
When Doc asked why, TGG said he thinks he must have been trying to discount chiropractic because he thinks it's worthless and expensive and, therefore, a waste of my money so he was trying to save me from wasting money. However, as Doc pointed out, TGG had sarcastically mocked *my* opinion. Sarcasm is a form of an attack. Therefore, TGG was attacking me to save me...?

Well that is just not logical.

So, finally, we were able to identify a flaw in TGG's logic which caused him to have to re-examine his entire paradigm!
Doc began to explain, again, that he believes that when TGG feels threatened in some way that he reacts with sarcasm.
TGG says sarcasm is normal and he doesn't feel it's an attack of any sort.

TGG constantly attempts to qualify his reactions instead of attempting to understand what Doc or I are saying.

And so, I pointed out that anytime we have a difference of opinion, I feel like he doesn't act like my opinion has any worth.
His opinion is, almost always, based purely in his personal assumptions. Were his opinion based on a fact that he relayed to me, I would not be offended by his insistence that I prove my opinion to him. However, if his opinion is based in assumption, why is it that my opinion simply CAN NOT be taken at my word. Why is the burden of proof always on me?

After I explained that, Doc thought of something new to offer TGG.

Doc said he could understand how someone, lacking in any connection to emotion, might consider their entire personality to be their intellect. Thus, he would assume that when such a persons intellect comes into question, it could feel like their entire self-worth is being questioned.

It was then, during Docs explanation of that scenario, I noticed TGGs eyes starting to tear up! It was a miracle!

After four weeks, Doc was finally able to put this concept of "feelings" in a context TGG could understand. Doc was finally able to give TGG proof that TGG had an emotional chain of events occuring insude of him.

Anyway, that was the first breakthrough. The second breakthrough is actually quite funny. (And a much shorter explanation!)

As Doc was explaining this scenario to TGG, I realized that TGG and I actually have this scenario in common!!!!!!

Interesting.

I mean, I've always know that I have a *need* to be right, but it never occurred to me that my need and TGG's entire problem were of the same root!

So, there you have it. One breakthrough leads to another.