April 29, 2008 Keep Your Fingers Crossed

Well. It looks like we got a little somewhere on instant messager. I'm just not exactly sure where we are. Here's how it all went down:

Me: So you don't really want to think about me moving away, do you?

TGG: Yeah, I don't really know what to think about it at the moment. Obviously I'd want to be close to you, but I'm unsure if I could move away from my established life for a few years schooling that admittedly would have you with no time for others.

Me: I know.

TGG: We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. There's still plenty of time to plan and see where things go with your schooling.

Me: Not really. I'll be applying to schools this summer and start getting acceptance letters in the fall. Which is only a few (busy) months away. Plus, it doesn't really make sense for me to buy a house if I'm leaving in a year.

There are many, many things which I need to figure out in the near future. I can't just wait until the last minute. And I would rather have your input.

TGG: That's true

Well, where do you WANT to go?

Regardless of what I think, you need to live your future for you first.

Me: But, like I wrote you before, we have never discussed the future. I think we should really do that soon. I mean, if we don't have the same thoughts on the future then I guess I don't need you're input. But, I hope we do have the same thoughts on the future. If so, I don't think I should go making all kinds of decisions without consulting you.

Me: I know.

I WANT to go to the local university. I HAVE to apply to other schools because I have to start somewhere in Fall 2009.

TGG: This is a very new idea for me and I suppose I'm unsure about how to handle it

Me: We don't have to talk about stuff now. I'm just saying, we need to talk soon.

TGG: The idea of moving away from everything I've established in life, scrapping my job and friends (effectively) and beginning fresh with no contacts is a terrifying idea to be honest with you.

Me: I'm not asking you to do that.

TGG: Well, if you move away you would be.

Me: If I had to move away for school I would let you know you had an open invitation if you wanted it.

But even if I stayed here. I, apparently, wouldn't have much time for a life.

The thought of moving somewhere new is positively terrifying for me as well.

Granted, I've done it a couple of times, but I've always moved places where I knew a few people.

TGG: Yeah. Basically the situation is a whole lot easier if you stay around here.

Me: It sure is.

TGG: Even if it's hours away, I'd be perfectly willing to drive out as often as possible to come visit you.

But I have to admit I don't know at this point if I'd be willing to scrap my established life to follow you to a place I know you'd be leaving after you're done there.

It's a really tough choice.

We've got free time this afternoon/tonight. We can sit down and figure things out.

Me: OK

Then there was dead silence for 35 minutes until I said I was off to run errands.

This is going to be an interesting evening. He should be home around 6:00 pm and we have to leave at 7:40 pm for counseling.

Something tells me things are either going to get a lot better or much worse very, very soon.