October 12, 2007 The Breakup

Just after I arrived at work this morning, it began.
(Thank goodness for unlimited text messaging.)


BFF: Still not sure what's going on.

Me: I keep trying to force myself not to like you but you won't get out of my head. The only thing I can think is to just not see you for a while. Which A: I hate & B: is pretty ironic since the excuse you gave me for not wanting to date is that it could jeopardize our friendship. But I really don't know what else to do. Sorry.

After 40 minutes with no response...

Me: I told you to just leave me alone but you had to keep pushing. I don't know what you expected me to say... And I wasn't expecting you to say anything I'd want to hear in return but the silent treatment is even worse.

BFF: I just wish I had an easy way to make it easier.

Me: No one ever said life would be easy.

Me: But next time someone tells you you're better off leaving something alone... listen.

BFF: I never said I was sad for asking. I just said I wish I could do more to fix it.

Me: AND learn to tell the truth, even when it makes you uncomfortable. That "don't wanna jeopardise our friendship" bull is the oldest line in the book.

BFF: Wasn't a lie. I am running out of good friends left and right. I'm just trying to hold on to the ones I have.

Me: How's that working out for you? :D

BFF: Not nearly as well as previously hoped.

Me: Sucks to be you, huh?

BFF: Mmmmmm hostility this early in the day is so fantastic.

Me: I'm not being hostile! I was being sarcastic!

BFF: OK. My mistake.

Me: Anyway... dunno when I'll feel like hanging out again so I guess I'll just... see ya around?

BFF: This sounds incredibly incorrect.

Me: What?

BFF: Just see you around? What the hell is that? You can't hold a simple conversation with The Good Guy but you can tell me see you around?

Me: I dunno wtf I'm supposed to say. And yes, that's part of the problem. I can talk to you but I can't talk to The Good Guy. And I didn't mean it like "have a nice life," I just meant I don't have a time frame for when this will go away.

BFF: I repeat my previous statement. You realize we have a lot of work to do together right? Our lives momentarily are held together pretty strong.

Me: Well duh. I meant as far as hanging out. Work can be done via e-mail and whatever.

BFF: And who am I going to eat cheese and watch Big Bang with? Playoffs? Killing me.

Me: Look, I don't know what you want me to say. I'm sitting here *at work* trying so hard not to cry that I can't breathe and am nauseous and dizzy. What do you want me to do?

Later that day...

Me: Wow that was fast. Already replaced me!

BFF: I have replaced you with no one.

BFF: Someone asked for my company. You can't be replaced.

Me: Please. If your g/f didn't live out of state you wouldn't need me.

BFF: If my g/f were here we would still hang out. You are being silly.

Me: I'm a girl, I'm allowed to be silly. But we would not hang out the way we have been.

BFF: Maybe not five days a week. We would though.

Me: Whatever. I'm just saying that I can be replaced.

BFF: Well you won't be. I'm kind of impressed the grape vine moved so fast.

Me: Yes, this is what we walk away with today. Amazement that one friend mentioned she was hanging out with another friend when she was inviting me out with them.

BFF: How quickly it got there.

Me: She invited me to join you.

BFF: That makes me feel much better.

Me: Much better? About the grape vine? I am confused.

BFF: That she invited more then just me.

Me: What, did you think that was a date? She invited several people.

BFF: I had no idea either way. She never mentioned anyone else and I didn't want to feel presumptuous asking.

Me: So it makes you feel better that you weren't the only one invited? If you were uncomfortable thinking you were asked on a date why wouldn't you have said anything?

BFF: I would have waited till I was there. If I found it was just me then I would do my best to show I didn't think it was a date.

Me: And you're complaining that I don't communicate well. You have quite a knack for getting into sticky situations with girls liking you because you beat around the bush.

BFF: Bush?
BFF: Well it would have been insulting to assume if it wasn't a date.

Me: Whatever. I'm tired of arguing.

BFF: Me too.



I know I was picking a fight. For some reason it made me feel better. Don't ask me why.

~~~~~~~~~~

Before leaving work I remembered that I still hadn't spoken to The Good Guy to break our plans for the evening. Turns out he was hoping to break plans anyway. It seems he didn't get much sleep last night and was having a rough day. I told him that was probably for the best as I'd been in an odd mood all week anyway. We're going to speak tomorrow evening and do... something.

He didn't tell me why he lost sleep but I know. His XBOX is fixed and Thursday night he and his friends play... some game. I don't know which one. This is the real problem. Whether it's lack of experience or lack of interest, he doesn't realize that he puts his games and friends ahead of me. I'd never want him to stop playing games or drop his friends but it would be nice it I was at least equal!

What a mess. I don't know what I'll do tomorrow. I'm not in the mood to see The Good Guy let alone experience another failed attempt at sex.