September 30, 2007 School

In the spring I took 22 credit hours in order to graduate early from my community college. There the max was 17 credit hours and I had to sign a form declaring that I understood the extra credits could impair my ability to succeed and the college could not be held liable if I flunked out. It was fun. I should frame that.

Having been a huge fish in a tiny pond, I was worried that I was destined to be a tiny goldfish in a massive ocean. I thought I'd take it easy over the summer at my new private, liberal arts school. At my community college I'd had a massive support network among the administration. I spent the majority of my time in the office being cheered on. A new school would take some getting used to and it would take time for me to develop a support network. This new school had a max over the summer term of 8 credit hours so that's what I took. By the middle of the summer when it was time to register for spring classes, I had realized that the work was not much harder then community college so I decided to take a course overload in the spring and see what happened. Of course, since I have a knack for procrastination, I received an A- and  B between my two classes. However, I have only myself to blame and will endeavor to do better this semester.

So six weeks in to the semester, I am doing well in my 18 credits (16 is the max here), but I am still procrastinating. I've turned in all of my assignments (though none of my instructors actually grade homework) and gotten Bs on the test and two quizzes I've had thus far. Unfortunately, I'm quite far behind in my reading. I had intended to spend this entire weekend catching up and, perhaps, even working ahead. Instead I planted myself on the couch, caught up on my television, and slept an inordinate amount. Now, Sunday afternoon, I am nearly to the end of my DvR list, I couldn't sleep another wink if I tried, and I am so lethargic I can barely type these words. I need to get motivated. I'm hoping that journaling the events of the past few months will get my creative juices flowing. I am determined to take home straight As! Wish me luck.

On a more positive note, I did not turn out to be a tiny fish after all. Within the first six weeks, the administration was a buzz with my name. I've secured a part-time position in the administration office and have been informed that my first name is now "Wonderful" as that is how I am always introduced. One of my classes has turned into group therapy and when this weeks discussion turned to "graceful environments" I was nearly brought to tears discussing the effect that our classes four facilitators and the other administrative staff have had on me. Having been to hell and back between 2002 and 2006, I still have a hard time believing that my life is my own again.

I know I have bad habits of self-handicapping behavior but I am, for the first time in years, in a very healthy environment. As long as I can keep my head above water, it will be easier and easier to succeed. Even when I exhibit these bad habits, as long as I can continue to do damage control and refrain from doing any serious damage, I will continue to learn from my experiences and become stronger and stronger each day. People are already joking that they're going to turn around and I'll be the president of the college - I look forward to making that a reality.